Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Letting go of outcomes

The topic of my insight portion of my meditation this morning was "Letting go of outcomes and results."  For instance, during bedtime routine, to let go of:
  1. Being yelled at.
  2. Being ignored
  3. Procrastination
  4. Finishing the last Wii game
  5. ect....
By attacking these problems, one at a time as the arise, I can let go of needing to get the kids to bed on my schedule and let them have some freedom with a reasonalble framework.
I am also trying to heal my ears, so that when I hear whining and yelling, that I don't react.  It is highly unlikely that the kids will need to visit the ER as a result of their horseplay.
Having this intention in my mind this evening helped bedtime proceed well from my perspective.  I did not lose my cool and the kids got to bed only a few minutes after their scheduled bedtimes.
I think that the more I reflect on these insights, the deeper that they sink in and more healing occurs.
So far so good.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Weekend of Service at Grampy's

Made it back from a weekend of service at my father-in-Law's. He is doing OK. When you give, you get, however. I got to spend a weekend with the funniest 8 year old boy you will ever meet. T and I talked about everything, from the Sox to the Pats to the Lightening Theif books.  He is such a great kid.  We talked about the time a bully punched him in the stomach at school.  This same kid aspires to be a murderer when he grows up.  

T asked me how electricity is generated for our house.  Why are there 4 downs in football and how does that work.  How many more game do the RedSox have and who are they playing.  Who won the baseball allstar game and who will get home field advantage this year?  The list went on and on.  I answered patiently and tried to ask as many follow up questions as I could.  

I discovered that T remembered as much or more about the Lightening Thief series as I did.  We also had a telepathic moment.  I was trying to recall one of the characters names in the book and was spouting out names: David, Peter, Bobby.  None of them seemed right.  Then T said he thought he remembered the name, but was not sure.  It popped imediately into my head.  Was it Daniel?  He said it was.  Pretty amazing.

Servicing my Father-In-Law and his partner was hard work, but the reward of doing for others is extremely enriching.  To get this added bonus of bonding time with my son was priceless.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Bristling at judgement

I realized that I have a hot button when I am feeling judged.
When I was driving the other day someone commented that I was taking the long way to out destination.
I replied that I liked the scenic route better.
"You will use more gas." they said and "that is bad for the environment."
But we are in a hybrid and it is only about a mile out of the way, I replied.
"Studies show that people who drive hybrids drive more miles" my passenger replied.
"Thanks for the judgment." I replied.
We moved on and didn't talk about the exchange, but I resented being judged when I work hard at minimizing my impact on the environment.
Ideally I would be able to accept the criticism and move on. I reflected on that in meditation and hopefully will heal this hot button.