Saturday, April 09, 2005

Cranky yard work.

Do you have any activity that you perform where you have noticed that you have become often irritated while performing it?

Mine is yard work. I can recall numerous examples of me losing my patience in the yard. Today I was trying to get the garden hose off of the Reel-Easy. I had split almost all of my knuckles trying to loosen the hose from it's connector. At the same time L was desperate for a push on the swing. She was whining desperately at the swing for assistance.

"Dadddddyyyyyyyy, Pleeeeeaaaaase push meeeeeeeeee?"
"One minute, L. I am trying to fix the hose!"
"Pleeeeeeeeaaassseee!!!!" She whined in an even higher pitch.
"Just one minute!" I shouted back without thinking. "If you whine like that again I will not come down there at all!"
I really am disappointed in myself when I speak without thinking. This was one of those times. But I immediately realized that I had done it, and got up and walked around to the front of the house. I could still hear L yelling in the back.
I got another wrench and the hose came off easily. Then with a clear mind I was able to walk down the hill and push L for a few minutes.
I wonder if it is needing accomplishment in yard work that causes me to lose my patience. I believe I get attached to the projects and feel the need to complete them or at least make progress. If the kids interrupt me while I am working, I sometimes feel angry that I am losing my window of accomplishing something around the house.
Also, the fact that I do not plan effectively around the yard also contributes to my anguish. If I had stored that Reel-Easy properly I would not have had that chore to begin with. Gravity, poorly organized tools, and a host of other culprits can cause a feeling of "woe is me".
I think I am doing a better job of catching the anger as it arises and diffusing it. I did not throw any objects today and I only raised my voice once. That feels like progress.
I also realized that I had not eaten all morning. I rallied the troops and brought them inside for a nice lunch.
The remainder of the yardword for the afternoon was very pleasant. Again proving that peace is generated from the inside out, not from the yardwork in:)

Can you think of any time where you might tend to lose it? Bedtime is a close second to yardwork for me. Any others?

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