Saturday, June 11, 2005

Reducing competition between siblings.

My daughter, L (5 and a half) looked troubled at bedtime.
"What's cooking?" I asked.
"Grampie said that he loves me more than anyone else, but that can't be true."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because you and mom are with us the most. You must love us the most."
I smiled and realized my daughter's wisdom. "Parents and grandparents each have special love for their kids and grandkids. We all love you very much."
L smirked and said: "I know who you love the most....."
I froze and I felt a little sick to my stomach. I was not ready for my daughter to compare herself to her siblings. I wanted to nip this idea in the bud. My mind began preparing a lecture about how I love all of my kids the same. In my fear, I was about to launch into the diatribe when I realized that L had not told me what she was thinking.
"Who?" I asked.
"You love me, more than other kids. Like the girls that you coach on our soccer team. You love me and T and M more than them, right?"
She knows that I love all of my kids the same without me having to lecture about it. She lumped herself and her siblings together in the same package of super sized love. I was thankful that I had not jumped to my original conclusion.
"Yes, L. You are right. But I do try to love all of your friends as much as you. It is just that I love you so very much."
"I love you too daddy."

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